So this has a vaguely religious undertone to it, mostly because it took place at my weekly Bible study.
So, we're talking about the brokenness of humanity and how terrible we are, and how we don't even know it. Depressing yes? Well, it's all better because we have Grace.
Example:
Tom Rush, our leader, tells us that we work with seven other people, who apparently hate you. In fact they hate you so much they petition to get you fired.
Wow, by now I'm thinking I must be a pretty terrible person. But the truth is, maybe I'm not and they just don't like me.
Anyways, we're talking, and I suggest that it doesn't matter because what they think doesn't change what God thinks of you. (This is the correct answer, I know because I wrote it down last week when Tom told us)
Tom and I argue about it a little, because he wants everyone to understand the meaning of this. He tells me that these people think I'm terrible, and totally rotten.
Vidal tries to get in on our argument (in front of 35 other people) and Tom says "Not now, I want to talk to Marissa about how Rotten she is."
Everyone laughs.
The thing is, and I told him this later, when I returned to church I honestly thought that about myself. Some people look at me, like "You're 19, how terrible could you be?" But I have done things I really do regret.
And then people go "Yeah, but they can't be that bad. You're a good kid."
And I say thanks. But really...
Let's move away from the religious, we're all broken and life kind of sucks except we've been saved by Grace and because of that life is actually pretty good.
One of my favourite modern issues (and I say modern because once upon a time it wasn't a big deal, or it was only for a different reason) is Self Esteem.
I have terrible self esteem, but that's really okay, because it pushes me to work harder. It means that I consider what I eat because I don't want to be fat, it means I work hard in school because I don't want to fail, and it means I try extra hard in everything because I aim to impress.
Everything in my life has been driven by the desire to succeed, not because I have a good image of myself, and am sure I can do it, but because I have a terrible self esteem and need to boost it up with accomplishments.
I can honestly say that I have earned everything that can be achieved by hard work. My grades, my University acceptance, my spot in every play, and the respect of the people around me.
Sure, if I return to my religious idea from the top I have to admit that there is nothing I can do to earn God's love, and there is nothing I can do to lose it either.
That really changes your perspective on self esteem.
But I still think it's really stupid the way we spend all our time inflating people's egos. Society works so hard to make everyone feel good, when occasional failure and the prospect of brokenness is so freeing.
If I am already broken, and terrible, and rotten, what worse can I do? I can only go up! I need to change the way I look at things and I need to put in the effort.
Examples:
you don't get the part in the play, you try harder next time.
You fail a course in school, you do the homework next time.
It's kind of a cause and effect thing, and society is taking away the cause so the effect disappears. Why is my generation the generation of entitlement? Because the previous generation handed us everything on a silver platter and made us think we could do no wrong.
Oh? Wait a minute, that would mean our parents are to blame? Not really. We took everything that was spoon fed to us and decided that his is how real life is.
It's a problem that's going to get exponentially worse, and if that's the case, the next generation is doomed not because of Global Warming and Nuclear Warfare, but because they'll expect that they are some sort of mini royalty that deserves nothing but the absolute best. Humanity is slowly destroying itself.
Wow, and that's just our self esteem issues. And their backwards from my grandma's generation where it was practically a crime to have to high an opinion of yourself.
So lastly, my friends, I leave you with this.
What would you do if you couldn't fail?
But more importantly, why is it so hard to use failure as motivation instead of hindrance?
What will you risk failing at a million times for the chance to succeed once? If it's really important to you, failure shouldn't matter, it should make you want it that much more.
Also, if you're reading this on Facebook, I think you should follow me on Blogger. Check out my page!
http://mlhmissy.blogspot.com/
~Marissa
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